Ciao~

Good and bad, both have their flairs. For matter of facts, I have more good memory over bad.

Just that... Writing here will remind me of him. I still love him dearly. However accompany with that, are pinch of pains. Time has healed my scar, yet not fully recover. Inking the bits over here don't really sound a good idea. I need a change, like the wonderful things happening around me.

Maybe when I am able to love him in a way I now love the others, those who I had once loved so deeply, love in a more settle, quiet and calm way. I might consider it. *smile*

So, bye people. *smile*

牙刷。

他伤的我好深。。。好深。。。但我真的庆幸能遇见他。毕竟，他为我带来了很多美好回忆。

很多人都说我很傻，说他不值的我为他而心伤，身伤和神伤。

他们说了他许多不好的流言蜚语，说了许多许多。。。但是，爱情是盲目的。。。直到如今，我还是相信他心地是好的。只是，我两之间的爱情已划上句号了。

我已经尽力了，也没有遗憾了。

今早，我终于鼓起勇气把那支牙刷丢进了垃圾桶。那支因他而买的牙刷。。。告别了我的初恋。

如果有缘再见，就让我们在笑声中，清谈闲聊，度过个悠闲的下午。

Lost in conversation...

*My third attempt…*

Mel: 嗨，是智菁吗？

On the other side: Bis du? *Okie, this means “who is it?” in German…*

Mel: Zi Jing… Zi Jing… Errmmm… Stefan… Stefan… Ermmmm…

On the other side: bvci dagfafb ajhfcviyccbe *No idea… More German*

Mel: Do you speak English?

On the other side: Nine *Again… German… It means “No.”*

Mel: Stefan? Ermmm… … … I will call back later…

*My fourth attempt…*

Mel: Hi, may I speak to Zi Jing?

On the other side: Bis du? Dbeydfvjhvcyeevffe… *More German… This is hopeless and it ain’t getting anywhere… T_T* Nisht sprechen Deutsh? *Okie, I know this, ”You don’t speak German?”*

Mel: Nine… Dooo yoouuu speeaaakkk Engeelishhhh?

On the other side: A little bit…

Mel: Mayyyy I speakkk toooo Stefannnn? Is he around?

On the other side: Nine… civwey fehfcasdycfevce ccb eceocbe 6obbvvhkza adawdfaffeffefeaffefefefe… … *More jargon… T_T*

Mel: Isssss Stefan’s wifeeeeee arrrounnndd? Wife… Wife… Wife… Ziiii Jingggg… Ian’s Mama… Dian’s Mama…?

On the other side: Nine… nine… Your name?

Mel: Mellllvinnnnn… M… E… L… V… I… N…

On the other side: M…A… L…W…

Mel: Nine… nine… M… E… L… V… I… N…

On the other side: Melvin!!!!!!!!!!

智菁：喂，你神经病啊？说了一大堆英文。。。 ＊七嘴八舌的向智菁＊

Liar! Arggghhh...

*... Chatting after vegetarian Yum Cha...*

Mel: I invited some friends over for dinner and CM was one of them. Some time during the dinner, at the very moment when CM was chewing a piece of pork spare ribs, I suddenly recalled that she is a Muslim. I stopped her and all she said was, “I will bismilah later...”

*CM and ST are mumbling by the side with the menu covering part of their face...*

CM: I had already told him...

ST: Are you sure?

*FT and CY are listening with a weird look...*

Mel: Well, I always forget that she is a Muslim... Like my cousin brother, not such a strict Muslim and he do eat roasted pork...

CM: Mel, do you know how old am I?

Mel: Two years younger than me, so?

*The girls have this wicked smile on and... a look of unbelievable...*

CM: I am actually your age and I do go to temple, like Chinese temple... I am not a Muslim. I thought I have already told you... Like two years ago...

*Mel in total shock...*

Mel: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... No... You didn’t...

CM: Well, now you know.

FT: You actually believe it? *lol*

CY: From any aspects you look at it, don’t you think those are just plain lies? Well, none of us believe it, not even a second. *lol*

ST: You believe that for seven years? If she was a Muslim, she would have pray, wouldn't she? Do you really think that she can't taste the differences between pork and beef?*lol*

*Everyone by the table is having a good laugh... of course other than me... speechless I am...*

Mel: ... ... ... ... ... ... seven years... so how about the fiancé?

CM: That is a lie too, OBBBViouuuusssslyyyyy~ *lol* Can’t you tell? You are too innocent! *lol* Oh ya by the way, I am actually a guy and did my operation in Thailand years ago. These boobs are fake and merely just some silicon! *CM pokes at her boobs as she laughs...*

*The others nodding to show their acknowledgement.*

Mel: Ya right!!!

FT: Mel, you are just too innocent... Believing it for 7 years... *lol*

Mel: Argggghhh! You evil woman! *Grumpy!!!*

...Clumsy?

Thanks to the good old uni days, I have never really had problems in giving speech. Pretty much just used to get up and talk with few points in mind and a shot of life juice. Fun, entertaining and engaging, that is my way.

Having said so, I did pretty clumsy yesterday.

I was giving my first work presentation to my colleagues to show my understanding on mobile network. The amount of terminology and jargons were quite overwhelming. I was sort of struggling to speak fluently. As time passed, I could feel my tempo rather messy. My gut feeling, “Shit! I fucked it…” I simply couldn’t wait to end my embarrassment and misery.

I finished my last word and stood still… I stayed calm with the thought, “Come! Shoot me at the head… I can take it…”

… Waiting for judgement…

Surprisingly, my colleagues were pretty happy with my work. They like it. I guess I have always been harsh and too critical on myself. Often myself being the only one having problems with my own work.

Oh well, I did well. *smile*

天渐渐亮了。。。

无声撕力的呐喊。。。一次又一次的呐喊。。。不为什么，只想让自己好过些些。。。只想把那股让自己几乎窒息的郁闷宣泄出来。。。不停的重复着。。。不停的重复着。。。

我好些了吗？

挥之不去的惆怅，划过脸颊眼泪，抽痛着的心不是已告知了我吗？

越是想要解脱，越是想要放手，越是想要遗忘。。。越是如此，越是无法自己。。。

冷冷的，凄凄的。。。温热的泪早已冷却消散，只留下泪痕，只留下心痕，只留下难挨的疼痛。。。

累了。。。累了。。。真的累了。。。无力的瘫在床上，望着灰灰天花，脑中一片空白，嘴上哼着，“我想起了遇見你的時候，想起你眼神中的溫柔,想起了我們第一次牽手，想起你親吻我的時候。。。似乎那麼害怕失去我，然而到後來我什麼都沒有，當你離開的時候。。。越是沒有你越是心痛。。。”

天渐渐亮了。。。

Next phase.

I have embarked into my next phase of life on 21st January 2008. Saying goodbye to more than 20 years of study and starting my career with Telstra.

Was I really nervous and excited over it? Not precisely. I guess I have always love the idea of working. Life simply just felt like back to normal.

My first day at work was pretty relax and *Hmmmm...* I will rather say boring. I did some online assignments and started to read some reference materials. Also, I was introduced to the guys mainly in my division and around our level. *Hmmm...* Then, there was ID card registration and... Pretty much getting myself settled. Nothing much... Without any dramas, I survived my first day at work. Although I just began, I like my workplace. My desk is facing the window, aka nice view. My manager and colleagues are pretty cool people and pretty easy going. My work environment is pretty casual and rather relax in a good way. In a nut shell, boring yes, but I am quite happy.

My second day, it was pretty much the same. I was bored the whole day and struggled to get awake while reading the 200 odd pages jargon reference. Frankly speaking, not an idea on what I had read. Having said so, things rather changed, only after my senior colleagues briefed me more on the division. It was pretty cool. The things we do cover the full life cycle of wireless voice transmission. Furthermore, I have some tasks in my book and am given some directions. That will keep me busy for a week plus. I am pretty happy. At least, I will be distracted for the time being, will be less of him...

*Cross fingers* Things will only get better! *smile*

四三二一，如今。

四星期前，我与他相遇了。
躺在宽宽的大床，迟迟的不入眠不入睡，心系身旁的手机,
深夜中的互通短信，诉尽心绪，
是缘是分，我微笑的期待。

三星期前，我与他早已开始了。
相互的依偎，手握晶莹酒杯，细饮他为我准备好的Shiraz，
含蓄的合上了眼，轻轻的吻了他，
是甜是蜜，我感丝丝幸福。

二星期前，我与他相隔两地了。
不舍的挥手，心中牵挂着，再次读起他悄皮的短信,
想念他的微笑，想念他的陪伴，想念他的薄荷体香，我想念他。
是思是念，我心里惆怅着。

一星期前，我与他出现问题了。
心是痛的，心是闷的，心是忧的，
微笑的脸庞没有快乐，是否看得出来，昏黄夕阳只告诉我，快下起雨了。
是愁是烦，我陷入愁城中。

如今，五味搀杂，甜，酸，苦，辣，咸，不知味。。。尝试着维持平常心。

刀割与勇气。

我又再次体会了心如刀割的滋味。

碎裂的心靠着那些许的连丝勉强的维持，脆弱得恰似即将土崩瓦解的破屋残瓦，微风细雨随时成为它坍塌的原因。让我心痛的是他那伤人恼人的只字片语，而更多的是当他心中挣扎的时候，我只能无助的旁观，我能够为他分担解忧得是多么的有限。我多想飞到你身旁，陪伴着你。但是，我不能，现实环境的因素不允许，还有的是你需要那自己的空间来深思些自身的问题。我不能为满足自己而徇私。

我对他的承诺，我会守。可是，我同时也想为他做点什么。。。我会的。

虽然心碎，我的心绪却异常的平静。为何呢？我是知道的。历尽伤痛背叛的心，已经学会如何勇敢积极的正视面对波荡浮沉的感情。如今，我对曾经伤害我的人，衷心的感谢，是你们让我学会如何坚强。

我是开朗得，我是乐观得，我是无俱无畏的勇者仁者。就如我对自己的期望，我将挥洒我手中的利剑和智慧，尽我所能的度过满布荆棘的前路。

相处。

电话声响起了，他接了。他说他在忙着，我们说不上两句就收讯了。

电话声再次响起了，他没接。

电话声再次响起了，他没接。

电话声再次响起了，他接了。他说他跟他朋友在聚会。我想要他尽兴得玩，说不上两句，又再次收讯。

之后，我发了封短信，说道，“Hmmm... You enjoy your time with your fren, dear... Just let me know when you wanna talk... I think couple should talk over the phone, especially when one is away... I wanna know how are you doing...”。那时的心情忐忑不安，毕竟他离开了的这些天，我们还没真的好好说上几句。我是想他的，想跟他聊聊有得没得，想轻松的闲话家长。同时间，我要给他，给他所需要的空间，也就如我般，我也需要那些许自己的空间。因此在他不在的这些天，我把对他的思念收起了，我也只是偶尔说起，也尽量不施加多余的压力。

其实，我只是很单纯得想寻觅我两沟通的方法。

他没回我短信。怀着郁闷的心情，过了一天。。。

终于，我在线上遇见他，稍微的聊起，也没哆嗦几句，我就下线了。原因呢？原因就在于他无法畅所欲言。我跟他说我不想在这情况下跟他聊，我就下线了。虽然如此，我的心情却平复了许多。

。。。之后，又是仓促的三言两语和他没回的短信。。。

终于，他对我说了原因。他还不能完全释然。他是习惯熟悉的把心情和心事放在心中，而我的出现，我想分享他生活点滴的期望，却扰乱了他的心绪。他倍感压力。他觉得没了隐私和空间缩少了。他也不想回我短信。顿时，我懊恼了。我懊恼自己慢三拍的后知后觉。我什么也没想的，就安抚他，跟他道歉，想对我无意间施加的压力说声道歉。但是，更多的是他自己心中，自己与自己的挣扎。与此同时，他又怕没话题聊。有时，他甚至于置疑这段感情。

而我呢？我完全不觉的与他分享生活小事是个问题。当我决定跟他在一起的时候，我就决定了，我要对他坦白，我要信任他，我要对他有信心。。。这是我的选择。有时我会当心有的没的，就好比他所说的没话题。可是，我们从相识到一起的时间是相当的短，有些事是需要时间的。毕竟月前，我们还是生活圈没有交集的陌路人。他对我有所保留，我是能体谅的，我也不要求他需要在特定时间内敞开心闸。他需要的是他自己自我探索的步调。我衷心期望能有那么一天。再之有时，我也怀疑我是否爱他？我喜欢他的那分心意是肯定的，但爱呢？爱是需要时间累积而成的，混杂的不只是爱情，更有的是友情与亲情。虽说如此，我感觉到爱早已在心中不知觉的萌芽了。我何时才发现那早已存在的心意？那是当他离开几天后的事了。

我始终相信相识必定是有缘，就如星云法师所说，“今生一照面，多少香火缘。”般。再加上，我两的相识历程，更让我格外珍惜这分情意，惜缘。

说真的，我很高兴他对我说他现在所面对的，至少，他的心门已稍开了缝隙。矛盾的是，我同时也担心他，深怕他急着想找出路，轻易的划上句号说再见。我多么希望那刻我能够在他身旁，就静静的伴着他。。。我不愿是他生命里的插曲，也不愿是那主曲。我只希望他能让我在旁陪着，聆听着他所哼出的每一个生活小调。

我是否有做不好的地方？我想了一整晚，我做不好的就在于我潜意识的忽略了他的心情，完全没察觉到我的关心和寻找沟通的手法带给了他无形的压力。可能是自身的阅历和惯性的乐观，我要求他能够做的相对的勉强，而我却不知觉。。。但是如果不是这样，他会否真的对我开启心扉呢？而我又是否应对他不言不语不闻不问直到他回来墨尔本呢？我不能，我做不到。。。

我到底能够做些什么？我想了一整晚，我能够做的只有往后退一步，让他拥有更多的空间，再加上几帖的体恤和谅解。除此之外，我真的毫无办法。我只能静静的，默默的的等待。。。两人之间的互相扶持是重要的，他会让我知道当他需要帮助的时候吗？我希望他会。。。

两人之间多多少少都会有起与伏。没有暗流汹涌和绚丽彩虹，哪会显的出人生多彩？我相信耐心与努力，更重的是我们对彼此的情谊，暴风雨后的曙光将会在不久之后。这是我对我两的期许。

2008 Resolution.

Couple of days ago, I was chatting with a friend over the internet. She asked me, “What are your new year resolutions?” Without a second thought, I replied in haste.

I will be healthy.

I will do well in my very first job.

I will have achieved my saving target for investment.

Boy and I will have formed a stronger foundation for our relationship.

The people around me will enjoy their life in fullness and bless with happiness.

These were the ones that popped out of my mind then. After couple days, I still cannot think of anything more than that.

These are my 2008 resolution and I will work hard for it!

An uncertain 2007, yet a wonderful 2007!

31st December 2007 marks the very last day of 2007, has it been a good or bad? Simply splitting it like black and white is pointless, as the rainbow between the two sides shines our life and blesses us with meanings. That is what I think…

Last year on the very same day, writing a summary for the year, I said it had been a wonderful 2006 and an uncertain 2007 would come. Indeed, it was.

With my journey in Europe ended on the very first day of 2007, I knew that my phase of study was coming to an end very soon. It was about the time to get really serious about throwing in applications. The only problem then was I didn’t know where I would want to be. I wished to work in Australia, but my industry was very minor there. I wished to work in Singapore, but I did not have the status to apply for a decent job. I did know that I wished not to work in Malaysia, but that was the easier option. Nothing was decided and decisions were left unmade.

Bringing an indecisive me back to Melbourne did not help. Only that I started to think even more deeply about the circumstances while completing my master program. Meantime, I had started to put in applications, but only to find my worries reinstated. For a span of two months, there were only less than 10 jobs in the market, which I somehow was eligible to apply for. When I wanted to give up on Australia and just moved somewhere else, my family and friends were the strength of pillar holding me, keeping me here in Melbourne. For that and more than that, I love you all. Your encouragements, even pieces of words meant a lot.

In the midst of all these uncertainties, my heart was broken and I wasn’t happy. All my positive auras were sucked out of me. I felt empty in me. However, I am blessed with family and friends. They have always had faith in me. They stood by me quietly throughout that period, letting my emotional wounds cured by it and worries faded as time passed. Every now and then, they gave some words of wisdom that enlightened me. It took me more than 6 months to mend my shattered heart and now, I can say confidently that I am alright and have already accepted it. Fox and I still remain as friends. *smile*

People I will really want to note among the many are Iris and Eric. Thank you.

This year has been a year full of reflection and growth. I have lived through it with many inner struggles no doubt, yet many beautiful things have happened as 2008 approaches. I met some fantastic people and proud to associate with, I feel blessed. I found someone important in my life, I feel loved. I got a graduate job offer from Telstra, one of the 9 offers in Melbourne among thousand of application, I feel confidence...

I am grateful with my life and... I am starting to talk like a Christian... But I am not! I am still a very Buddhist! *laugh out loud*

An uncertain 2007, yet a wonderful 2007!

Deep in heart I know that my 2008 will be a fantastic one!

I hope that your 2007 will windup in good terms and happy 2008! *Kisses and hugs*

三天。

三天前，他要离开的那一天，我带着一颗洋葱，一手江鱼仔，一束香菜，一罐意式番茄酱，一包意大利面，几手洋式蘑菇和半瓶红酒到他家，为他准备晚餐。菜单：西式鲜味洋葱汤和红酒茄汁炖牛辗意大利面。而我在他还在为他家人和学弟妹做最后一分种购物时，早已把晚餐做好。

待在闷热的房子中，特别烦躁。真不知道是因为屋外３８度C的高温，还是因为屋内心情格外鼓噪的自己。我不停的擦拭额上滴下的汗水，但却擦拭不走心中那股闷气。其实，我是知道的，原因就只在于他就要离开了。他会离开墨尔本一个月半左右。

当他会到家，我们就开动了。他很喜欢西式鲜味洋葱汤，但对于我那下了不少功夫能与外面馆子过两手还有余的主菜，只说了，“I like my pasta with more sauce...”。我心一凉，只能是闷上加闷，也没说什么。之后，我催他赶快上楼收拾行李，碗碟让我洗好了。他没怎么理我，就自个儿走到洗盆前，利落的洗起碗碟，笑着说，“You hate washing dishes, I will do it.”。顿时，心情好了一半。

我是在意他的，我竟会主动洗碗。。。上一次发生的时候是何时？他是在意我的，他会不让我洗碗。满简单的一件事，道出彼此之间相互的体贴。

之后，我们也谈不上几句。他忙着整理，严肃间带着疲倦，他也不让我帮忙。我一动手，他就发飙，也落了猛话，“You are not my housewife... Don't treat me like a kid...”。闷了一阵，我按捺不住反了他一句，“If I don't give a fuck care, I will not even be here!”。他愣了一下，突然笑了。我呢？我就静静的伏躺在床上看着他。。。咬牙变拗只在于件微不足道的小事。现在想起，觉得彼此都有点孩子气。

虽然整个晚上有点心闷，但当他坐着巴士离开的时候，心中那股郁闷早已烟消云散，只剩下想着他的那思绪。我看着他在机场发送给我的短讯，“... Don't miss me too much.”，不禁笑了。

三天后，我依然想着他。我又如何能不呢？

圣诞夜。

圣诞夜是一个基督徒重要弥撒的夜晚，是一个西方团圆的夜晚，是一个狂欢的夜晚，是一个平安的夜晚，。。。但对于我来说，这夜晚从来不带任何特别意义，这夜晚只是在平常不过的夜晚。但曾几何时，圣诞夜的定义悄悄的变了。

只因为有了他。

如往年般，朋友家都会开派对，决定了去那一家，就开始准备。今年，我和他会到Laney和Anthony的家度圣诞夜。主题，“Everything that is Green, red, white, gold and silver”和私家菜。

在大家还在睡梦中的时候，我早已起身准备。九点钟未到，就把Anthony吵醒，就把他从床上拉出来打扫布置。Laney需要工作，所以我自告奋勇来帮他们，同时也是为了封他们难缠又不饶人的两张嘴。他两三不五时的大合唱，再加设个十面埋伏天下围攻阵，左酸一句右酸一句，让我笑的合不拢嘴。哈哈哈哈哈哈～我应该生气的。哈哈哈哈哈哈～之后那下午，我跟他到处逛逛，再到他家煮我那道私房菜和笼络人心。我炒多几样小菜，慰劳他室友的五脏府。哈哈哈哈哈哈～

时间差不多的时候，我们拿了该拿的，就走去Laney她家。圣诞夜是多么的热闹，派对该有的美味佳肴，玲珑玉露aka一大堆的酒饮，圣诞日倒数，好伴，交换礼物，拉人拍照，Drinking Game等等等，真的好不热闹。再之，看着他满脸我帮他盖的的红色盖章，时而被罚到阳台对外狂吼，时而被罚做奇怪的东东。。。让我笑得肚子疼到不行。但是，让我心甜的是他那不时看着我的眼神。每每让我发现的时候，我会心的一笑，让他有些慌，他会说，“What?”，而我也只是笑着。

而当夜晚慢慢的放缓，宁静取代了喧闹，我和他早已静静的依偎着，就我和他。聆听着播放机传来那首他点给我的爵士情歌，轻闻着他传来淡淡薄荷的体香，遥望这那微亮又深邃的夜晚，速写着我两对彼此情意祝福，不说一句一话的相拥入眠。

这是个特别的圣诞夜，我和他的第一个圣诞夜。闹静，我他，我们睡了。

三歲小孩也不屑的話。

懶洋洋的星期天，本應是在家偷閒的大好時刻，但鬧鐘沒到八點就已經唱起孫燕姿的Honey Honey單曲，是時候起身了。我下定決心不再遲到！說真的，大部分的時間都是我等別人，可是呢。。。偏偏前幾次約會，我都遲到了。雖然他嘴上沒提，我知道他不喜歡別人遲到。今天，我下定決心不再遲到！睡意朦朧的爬出房門，是我今早的縮命。

就在我踏出房門的那一刻，冷不防的見到YC一立馬就要出門的勢！他轉過身對我說，“我現在要到飛機場接Dicky。。。”，他印尼來的朋友。我如冷水灌頂般，頓時整個人都醒了，心裡起嘀咕，“什麼？什麼！你現在要出門，那我不是會遲到嗎？！”，心裡如鐹上螞蟻，急如焚，心情跌到谷底。五秒鍾前的決心即刻粉碎殆盡。。。慘了！

據理力爭，再加上三分威逼要挾，我竟然說了些連三歲小孩也不屑的話。我竟然說，“如果你害我遲到，我馬上把房間弄亂！”。我傻楞了眼。我說的是什麼胡爛。心裡剎那間為自己說出的話覺得無地自容，這些年都白修了，內功修為半點不到家。

我是真的有點慌了，竟亂了陣腳，耍起了孩子脾氣。雖有點羞家，但從另一個角度來看，我是在意他的。傻氣的回應折射了我對他的心意，嘿。

巧克力，青苹果和午餐。

天枰座的我是渴望爱情的。早已忘了何时开始，有意识的，无意识的，总是在茫茫人海中，一天接着一天，左顾右盼，环顾四周，尝试着找寻这么一个人。

感觉上。。。就好像在等巴士。

耳里听着Ipod微微传来的音乐，嘴上哼着爱情如何灿烂凄凉，脑里读着永远读不完的小说，坐在那菱角渐钝的长凳上等着，等着巴士的到来。巴士一辆接着一辆的到来与离去，眼生中重复着一刹那的希望与失望，时高时低的落差让人难受，到底何时会到来呢？看着左腕上不停跳动的时针，心理除了干躁急，就只有无奈的等。偶尔也会有先上车吧的冲动。但是，终究还是却步了。毕竟巴士要是上错了，始终还是要下车。等待的当儿，也会不时地担心是否会错过？

这感觉。。。就好像在等自己迷失了的另一半。

他会是那一半吗？我不知道，但我希望是。

我知道的是我喜欢他。

睡醒眼睛渐开，我就会想起他那张笑脸。想着他，我会不经意的笑开怀。靠着他，我会很舒服，会很自在。看着他的浅棕色的瞳孔，我有想亲他的冲动。牵着他的手，我会很逗趣地去搔他的掌心。搂着他在怀中小睡，我会试着不让他被我吵醒。手指轻轻滑过他的头发之间，我觉得。。。怎么说呢。。。很平静，很舒适，很开心，有点幸福的味道。

但更多的是，他那看不到和摸不到的心意，和他让我一次又一次的心动。

他用一盒巧克力，一棵青苹果和一顿他准备的午餐，就把我搞定了。让爱情小乌龟加犹豫不定天枰座的我，竟很快的下了决定，问了那关键的一句，就在12月18日的那一个夏午。

而如今，他已是我男朋友！

约会.

一个人需要多少时间才能决定对一个人的喜欢？

我呢。。。少于五秒钟。我脸上合不拢的微笑，很单纯得告诉我。。。我喜欢他。

一见钟情。

而他呢？我想也是。毕竟是他主动约我的，一连两天，昨天短休，再接今明两天。

第一次约会，他对之前的讯息来回而让我迟迟未能入眠感到抱歉。他一大清早回到Koko Black买了巧克力送我赔不是。看着他，我还是说声谢加上，“You are forgiven!”。其实，我没生气，他约我，我还觉得蛮开心的。虽然只是件小插曲，他体贴的心意，我感受到了。舒舒服服的坐在旧式皮革大椅，喝着温温的雏菊茶，脸带些许幸福与微笑的闲聊。那是个很悠游夏午，有点忘了时间的夏午。

我陪他走到他上班地点的前一个红路灯，就在那儿说再见。当我回头望的时候，他也回头望了。

第二次约会，我迟到了半个小时！都是火车转换跑道。。。都是我多事儿帮助别人。。。我迟到了！我带着些许紧张的心情跑到约会地点。我看到他了。我啊。。。有些失态，有些慌乱，忙着对不起对不起。而他什么也没说，脸带笑容的把一粒青苹果递给我说，“This is for you.”。他就这样安抚了我，一句抱怨的话也没有。那天早上，我带他到South Melbourne一间环境很棒的小店吃早餐，再逛逛临近富有特色的小店画廊。。。我的手靠着他的手，距离逐渐消失，很自然的，很自然的，仿佛我俩之间起了些很微妙的变化。我们就这样过了一个悠游的早上，又忘了时间。

他陪我等电车，等我上了电车才离开。当我回头望的时候，他还在那儿。

甜甜的，心情超棒！我打起羽毛球也格外利落。

。。。但会否只是昙花一现呢？我有点不安，但我也不去想太多。。。

这就是缘吧？

一个很随性的决定，一杯Iced Chocolate和几杯水，我和他悄悄的开始了。只是朋友呢？还是。。。当时的我，想都没想过。

那天晚上，一般老朋友吃了晚饭，想说找个地方聊聊聚聚，说茶不行，喝咖啡又怕睡不着，酒又怕伤身，最后说到巧克力，那些女人二话不多说，减肥体重什么的都抛出脑后，就这样拍板定案。到了那儿，一楼满了，唯有到二楼。光顾了Koko Black这些年，我还真的今天才知道这间分店有二楼，察事儿于微的我这几年都白来了。坐在那旧式皮革扶椅上，还真是舒服舒坦。但是幸福只维持了30秒，都让女人给坐了。她们不赶我，绅士风度嘛，自动自发。。。

他就在那，但那时的我完全不知情。背着他闲聊，背着他狂笑，背着他点喝的，背着他让他添水。。。没真地去留心周遭的一切，只是单纯觉得当天的服务太棒了，服务生的他格外体贴，三不五时得来回为我们添水，就这样。。。直到Ling跟他开始闲聊了起来，我才稍微看到他的侧面。给人的感觉很舒服，总是笑脸迎人。但由于坐姿的缘由，我也没看得很清楚，也就没当一回事儿了。他走了之后，Ling和Felicia拿他当话题，看到帅哥，谈帅哥，再谈是否同性恋云云，还寻求我的意见。我又不会测古今未来，八卦四象两易半巧不通，也只能笑笑说，“可能吧。”那晚就这样闲话家常的谢幕了。

累得跟什么一样，回到家已经凌晨两点多了。。。冲了个热水澡，上下网回电邮，打算等头发干了就抱头大睡。查阅电邮信箱的时候，来了封刚结交网友的信，问我是否今晚曾到Koko Black。心想会是谁呢？直截了当的回了之后，就爬上床睡觉。那一刻，电话响了，有讯息，拿起一读，“I was the one pouring water”，原来他就是他。

躺在床上的我，时而合眼，时而半开，手指头按着键，讯息来回发送，约好了下午见面，接着我最后封讯息，“Are you gonna let me sleep now? ;O)”和他最后封讯息，“Opz… Sorry. Have a restful sleep. Nite.”，那已经是早上凌晨五点了，睡意早没了。。。但甜甜的。

时而相信，时而怀疑，真的有缘分这回事儿吗? 我不经懊恼。。。

到底会是什么呢？

P/S：向智菁我的大小姐，中文是为了方便你才写的哦~

Graduated!

Finally... For God sake... I am done... I am so done with my studies!

I G R A D U A T E D!!!!!

La la la la la ya la da la da~ *wink wink wink*

Human Rights Day.

10th December ---> Human Rights Day...

Reading various articles about the current human rights issues yesterday, I couldn't help thinking, what does it really mean? How does it translucent into actual action and something more than papers?

Headlines such as China Bad Records in Human Right, Human Rights Violation in Zimbabwe, Genocide in West Papua... flashed out every now and then on the news channel certainly help none to answer my question. How about some of the well developed western nation?

In a nut shell ---> 1. The Right to Equality 2. The Right to Freedom 3. The Right to Freedom of Religion 4. The Right against Exploitation 5. Cultural and Educational Rights 6. The Right to Constitutional Remedies.

Yes, indeed I found some clues, yet not quite… However after a deeper thought, I wonder do they practise it thoroughly? I have serious doubt.

I was reading the newspaper then ---> 1. US faked details and mislead the international community in waring Iraq 2. US tolerate the militaria dictatorship in Pakistan 3. Russia's strong fist action on Chechnya rebels 4. Portugal and Spain's strong position against separatists 5. Israel's arguable action on Palestine, alright I will say invasive...

It seems to me that human rights vary depending on situations. Rather than being a value or norm, it looks more like an excuse to intervene under the name of national interests and securities. Human rights with a labelled condition? Isn't it hypocritical?

Should human rights have to fit within a size 4 dress that those in power define it as perfect? I don’t know the right answer for that and I doubt even so. The day when everyone is happy is yet anywhere near.

I merely hope for the basic of the basics that poverty will be a word in history and no more war.