Let it be.

Sitting in front of the computer, listening to the musics, typing this article...

The weather out there looks great, sunny + clear blue sky, what else can you ask for? However, I am rather moody... I could feel layers and layers of dark clouds started to cuddle inside me, a heavy rain to be is predictable... I guess my running nose is part of the reasons.

Early in the morning, couple of messages popped. I crawled out of my blanket, grabbed my cell and had a quick browse. Lying back on my bed, looking upon the ceiling, my brain remained blank for the next couple of minutes. I know what I should do, but don't feel great on doing so... I replied.

Things come and go in a pace you will never expect. When you think you have already lose it, it appears out of no where. How will this unfold? I so hope that things can be as simple as Q&A in the Frequently Asked Question. Every questions can be answered with a straight forward manner and you don't need to worry about the after effect as much.

I said, "Let it be..." to comfort myself.

Suitable choice.

One thing that I always realise in life is that there is no such thing as absolute.

The world is not simply black and white. Thus, neither right nor wrong is the exact answer to the many questions that bothers one. In most occasions, one gain some and lose some either ways the decision go. It is whether or not one gets what one thinks one wants. The answer to that is yet to be answered, as we never really know what the other choices will lead us to... In the end, it kind of come down a chicken or egg dilemma...

To complicate the situation, we have human. Human with distinct background, mindset, culture, ethic, class, colour, perspective, desire and such. To sum it all in one word, different. One's right is other's wrong, one's best is other's worst, so on and so on...

Just recently, I have to wear my Mr Big Bad Wolf mask and be crude to cut someone off. Although I feel bad and words are hurtful, it has to be done. If not, it will drag on and end up even uglier. Probably what I did is wrong or self fish, but it is the best way I can think of to break through such dilemma. I ask myself whether I regret doing so? I don't. Having said so, the feeling sucks big time...

When my age was still on the single digit, my little brain up there was, should I say adventurous or should I say looking for trouble, tried to find a solution to that. However, it ended up no where. Probably it wasn't time then to figure out... While now, I guess I have somehow convinced myself it is merely suitability. Whether it is right or wrong? I don't know.

"Is it that important?" I asked myself...

不期而遇

所有的偶然造就了所谓的必然。

前几天，终于遇到到文良拜托我多多照顾的blur学弟上线了。他刚到这升学，对墨尔本有点陌生，还有很多地方不习惯和要学习适应。无独有偶，他第二天会到市区逛，我时间上不需更改就能配合上。所以，我也很爽快地约了他。这样，我也对文良的托付有了个交待。见面之后，又那么巧的，blur学弟的表姐到这儿公干。我就这样莫名其妙的当起了导游。那blur学弟的表姐又想到联盟广场兜兜。转了一大圈，大家就回到之前街头艺人那儿去看表演。站不了几分钟，在围绕的人群中，竟然看到了熟悉的身影，竟然看到了老同学。我还拿下眼镜擦拭一番，免得老花眼认错人，再来个尴尬加抱歉的窘境。确定了，是他们没错！以雯和Jefferson就坐在我正对面的方向。我二话不说，绕过了人群，到了他们身后。但是，他们却丝毫没有察觉老同学就在身后。吓了他们一跳，紧接着就是这几天的叙旧。。。

最后一次见到以雯是在七年前，万万没想到七年之后会在墨尔本来个不期而遇。有七年了。。。

大姨妈？

当提到大姨妈，你会想起什么呢？

忘了是初中一年级的哪天哪月，从我踏进校门的那刻起，所经之处，都会有人不时回头，暂停脚步窃窃私语一番。其间，也会停到一些窃笑声。但是情况危急，再多几分钟，第一堂课就要开始了。迟了要被记，迟到事大，还是废事少理。所以，也不当一回事儿，直往课室方向冲。

眼看多个一百米，我就要到了。靠！铃响了！ring！ring！ring！ring！ring！！！！一进课室，一身热汗加上不自觉地一身冷汗，班导师已经开始点名了。惨了。。。心里开始碎碎念，“平时不早到，我迟你就早。。。”。就这样被他扣留在原地，非常委屈的被他猛训一顿。我也没迟多久，只是几分钟罢了，竟然会落到身心被句句大道理K的一塌糊涂的窘境。这时，开始听到身后传来的微微笑声。初中一年级还没开课多久。。。天啊！衰到爆！

吞了一身的冤气，回到座位，坐在我旁边的同学还在笑着。心里狂骂，“真衰！衰到爆！我发飚了！迟到又怎样？被骂又怎样？有谁没经历过?要打架还是要耍狠？我奉陪！！！！”那时的我壮得很，放眼望去，当不了打片天下无敌手，也当得了无敌手2。要把弱不惊风的她打到满地找牙，用根指头还嫌多。但回到现实成面，我还是很客气的笑着打哈哈。

此时，同学说了让我愣了一刻的话，“你大姨妈来了！”。

我往门口一看，试图寻找大姨妈的身影。找了个大半天，连个苍蝇也没找着。天真的我还问同学我大姨妈在哪儿？大姨妈非此之大姨妈，乃。。。她直往我白色校裤内侧指。天啊！哪来的一大片深红印迹！

她说，“你月经来了！”

整个人呆了，傻了。。。羞到不行。原来，大家的窃笑是这么一回事儿。我尝试解释那是衣服脱色造成的，但完全无效，让我当了一天的哑巴，口吃黄莲，有苦难述。接下来的一天，就在别人的欢笑声中度过。。。

当时，那种心酸又欲哭无泪的心情，真是一言难尽。现在看来，还蛮有趣的。哈哈哈哈哈哈~

致小情歌

耳边不停地重复听着同一首曲，
嘴上不觉地重复哼着同一个调。
一首歌让我着了魔，
一首簡單的小情歌。
我喜欢它幽柔委婉的曲调，
我喜欢他情感细腻的唱腔。
我喜欢它简朴又深邃的描绘，
我喜欢他相聚又离散的叙述。
我喜欢看它飘浮在空中，音符围绕着我转啊转啊转的一幕。
我喜欢听他的迂回悸动，心迹随着旋律跳啊跳啊跳的一刻。
握紧那个他的手，心情单纯快乐，冰冰的冬天也不那么冷了。
渐失那个他的肩，思绪混乱复杂，热热的夏天怎么那么冷呢？
乐与哀的拥有与失去，不禁让我想起那年的那个他。

小情歌
乐团：苏打绿

這是一首簡單的小情歌
唱著人們心腸的曲折
我想我很快樂　當有你的溫熱
腳邊的空氣轉了

這是一首簡單的小情歌
唱著我們心頭的白鴿
我想我很適合　當一個歌頌者
青春在風中飄著

你知道　就算大雨讓這座城市顛倒
我會給你懷抱
受不了　看見你背影來到
寫下我　度秒如年難挨的離騷

就算整個世界被寂寞綁票
我也不會奔跑
逃不了　最後誰也都蒼老
寫下我　時間和琴聲交錯的城堡

Little Love Song
Artist: Sodagreen
Translator: M. Oyen

This is a simple little love song
Singing the complications of people’s hearts
I think I’m happy, when I had your warmth
The air by my feet turned

This is a simple little love song
Singing of the white doves in our hearts
I think I’m suited to singing odes
Youth flutters in the wind

You know, even if floods overtake this city
I’ll give you my embrace
I can’t stand it, seeing the form of your back
I record the unending misery of leaving

Even if the entire world is held ransom by loneliness
I still can’t run away
I can’t escape, in the end everyone grows old
I record how for me, time and music intersected at the wrong castle

Transformer

It has been a while since I found a movie worth the ticket price. Spiderman III, Piarate and the Carribeans III and Shrek III have same weight as none, aka worthless or crap. I had much expectations, but all flushed down the drain. Thus, I was rather skeptical with Transformer

After the movie, just one word, FANTASTIC!

Optimus PrimeMegatron

See him driving, RUN!!!!!

No one is perfect, that is for sure.

Mozart may be a fantastic musician, but he might not be a good politician. Einstein may be a successful scientist, but he might not be a skillful gardener. My high school teacher Mr I-do-not-remember-his-name may be good in Biology, but he is for sure I guarantee not a fantastic marathon runner...

Sometimes, something just never meant to be and we just have to accept that. In Alan's case, he is for sure not a driver you will want to see on the driver's seat.

It was a chilly cold evening, we were on our way driving home from the local supermarket. Sitting at the back seat, I couldn't sense a moment of comfort. Based of his previous driving experiences, I was sure that my worries weren't unnecessary. I tightened my seat belt and had a silent pray. Nothing much, just a smooth drive back.

Less than a minute, something shocking happened!

Alan was making a turn at the corner. At that very moment, he saw some old friends walking by the car. Without a second thought, he raised both his hands joyfully and started waiving. He was trying to get their attention. Little that he was aware that HE WAS ACTUALLY DRIVING! He was in total excitement. Yap, he forgot. The car was heading towards the protection block. Eric was yelling, "Hit! We are gonna hit! Hit... Stop...". While me, I was out of voice but with mouth widely opened... Luckily, the car stopped immediately and nothing severe happened. The car was less than 10cm away from direct impact. This pretty much explain and I rest my case.

See him driving, RUN!!!!!

Alan, the driver...

睡不着

是6度C的早晨太过冷呢？
还是忐忑不安的心在作祟？
往左盖三次，往右盖三次，试着让脸颊不那么冰，最终放弃，整条被子往头上盖。
往左翻三次，往右翻三次，想些有的没得，如今也想不起来，到底躺时想些什么。
一整晚都睡不着。
听着墙上的挂钟“滴答。。。嘀嗒。。。”的响着，
数着跳越床头“咩咩。。。咩咩。。。”叫的懒羊。
试图合上眼，似睡非睡得度过。。。
“碰！”的一声，鼎华出门了。又“碰！”的一声，Eric出门了。
赖在床上，尝试说服自己再多会儿就能睡着。。。
又“碰！”了一声，那是Alan。
拿起手表，往那一瞄，十一点了。
算了。。。起床吧！

拒绝

冷清的街头显得寂静，我们一言不发得走着。
不想你难受，尝试逗你笑，希望冲淡对你的伤害。
然而预言的失败应验，紧接着持续不断的沉默。
拒绝之时，想起被拒之时。
刺骨的寒风，赤裸裸的刮开见似痊愈的伤疤。
曾经伤过，曾经痛过，能说不疼就不疼吗？
走在你身旁，勉强的微笑，试图掩饰不定的心与微湿的眼。
伤的是你还是我？
不知道，不清楚，不了解。
做的是对还是错？
不知道，不清楚，不了解。
九点了，该走了。
你挥了手，头也不回的离开了。
加了又删的text，该与不该的体贴，只剩下“抱歉。。。伤了你。。。抱歉。。。”的七字message。
讯息发送了，电车错过了。
坐在冰冷的板凳，孤单的等着下一班。
何时会到呢？

His confession.

I was rather sleepy, not because I was bored, it was just the lack of sleep for consecutive days. As he was talking and I was listening, I couldn't stop rubbing my eyes and yawning. I was covering my mouth with my hand, trying not to make it obvious or rather not making myself impolite. I was simply too tired...

Daniel, "I like you. I really do like you and I want to see you more often."
Mel, "... Thank you..."

Was I surprised then? I wasn't. Was I uneasy then? I wasn't. Was I freaked out then? I wasn't.

Somehow, I know it all these while. I was prepared. I was calm and settle when he confessed. Why? I guess I am used to it now. After all, this wasn't the first time. Was I taking it maturer than before? Was I not interested at all? I don't know... What I did know, my heart wasn't beating fast and his was. Does that conclude anything? I can't answer.

Someone said this once, "I don't need one who makes my heart beats at 180 twenty four seven and leave me no space for a sip of fresh air. What I need is someone who sky rocketed my heart occasionally, leave me some space to breath and be me. "

I used to like a person that just thinking of him would make my heart beat so quick and I hardly could think anymore. I used to confess to a person that every words I said accompanied with my fast beating heart and I hardly could remember how to breath. However, both ended no where. Sad... Sad... I was really sad and hurt... Thus, will I want another one? I don't know... However, I do agreed with Mr Someone.

Will my heart ever beat for him? I don't know. Am I shielding myself not to get hurt? I don't know. What will happen then? I don't know.

I am writing about it now, does this say something? Only time will tell...

小心后面！

来来来~那位大哥大姐来告诉我，有谁会不喜欢欣赏漂亮的事物呢？

从倾国倾城的大美人到玲珑剔透的翡翠玉，就算是看得到，摸不着，是人地，都会回个头，瞧个眼，再来个品头论足。但大多数的我们，只都会在事后人后谈起，深怕别人说三道四，莫名其妙的被人尊称刘姥姥，贬了个乡下来的名号。唉。。。真是有点做贼心虚的味。。。自个儿猛火狂烧百户，不许他人点灯亮屋。真是造孽啊。。。

前几天，我和Iris在郊外的一间越南小食吃了城区享受不了值七十分的美食。吃饱喝足，手拿着姜醋的佐料，聊着聊着，慢慢的走向火车站。聊得兴起的时候，有个大帅哥不经意的走过。。。此时，我们都静下了。过了一阵，我们开始说起大帅哥，不时地赞起他整体的服饰搭配和那多么适合他的太阳眼镜，让他整个人看起来帅呆了。不禁的对他的真面目有了些许的期待。

不只是否上天起了个慈悲心，背后传来把声，“请问你们知道这里附近，哪儿有大盘鸡吃吗？”。我们一转身，发现问路人竟然就是他他他。。。脱下了太阳眼镜，脸上有种忍俊不俊，强忍爆笑得一面。就在那一瞬间，我们有点慌了，呆了。。。经验老到的我，潜意识的迅速掩饰了呆鹅的一面，摆出一种悠然的世态，答了他的问题。

糗死了！天啊啊啊!!!糗死了!!!!!!我和Iris忍不着的大笑起来，还不时地回头望，怕丑态再现。虽然献丑了，上天还真的让我们看见了他的真面目，我们都觉得戴上太阳眼镜的他帅呆了。。。

下次，还是等走远了再说。

Revenge on pigeon

Pigeons by sunset

One thing that one will notice in Melbourne is the super duper fat pigeon. Unlike any other places, the chances of seeing a skinny pigeon is dim. Is it because of the weather, the gene, the food or...? I don't know. Nonetheless, the thought of grilling them always remain an option. However, good hearted me always obey to the buddha's teaching and self discipline keep me away from skinning the bird, till this very moment...

Just yesterday, I was sitting by the front of the cafe in Colin Arcade, having sip of chamomile... something fell on my hand... It was BIRD DROP!!!! @#$%&*! Of all the places... For God sake, it was on the hand and I could just wipe it off. If it was on my hair, dear God... save me!

I shall have my revenge one day. I am going to go to the local Chinese restaurant and order a roast pigeon!

Sick...

Tuesday's weather was rather crazy. The sky was gloomy or should I said dark. Layers and layers of greyish cloud cuddled closely. Not even a slight beam on sun slight could break through. The weather was like a huge thunder storm waiting to be exploded. Nonetheless, emotional Melbourne weather proved everyone wrong once again.

The day was only full of drizzling rain. The type that stops every few minutes, continues with another few minutes and so on... The wind was rather strong and chilly. Not a thing I wore helped to keep me warm. Somehow, it had a way to flow through my thick jacket and hit straight on me. I was like an ice-cube-to-be in the freezer, approaching ground zero.

Normally, I would cover myself in a thick blanket with the heater on, watching my stack of HK dramas or Taiwanese talk shows. However, I had a presentation and two gathering to attend... -_- Not willingly, I dragged myself out and did my thing.

As expected, I was suffering from headache and cold by the evening. I was on the tram and heading back to Windsor. I couldn't help massaging my head hoping to help smoothen the pain. However, I failed. Not only it was a huge ache, it was also because Alan was being an absolutely jackass. He tried to be funny, but wrong time wrong moment. Helloooo!!?? Headache over here and shut up over there please! I felt like giving him gozillion slap and sewed his mouth with threads to silent him. Hmmm... How about a slight cut on the throat with a samurai sword...

Upon stepping in the apartment, I walked straight to the kitchen. I cooked some poridge with extra ginger and sesame oil ginger chicken. Later, some herbal tea... Well.. Sign of improvement was seen, I faced another problem. I had stomachache and have been a frequent customer of the toilet since. I realise the reasons = food poisoned. It was the fragmented tofu, courtesy of Alan...

Alas... Alan...

Bang! Bang!

A normal day, a normal morning, little would I expect such an early call. I reached to my jeans for my mobile. It was a message.

Yong, "Hey good morning, just wanna let u guys know. There is shooting going on in the city n the gun man is still out there. Be careful."

I thought someone was just being nasty in the morning and went back to bed...

...

Later in the afternoon, I realised that it was not a joke. A man was trying to drag a lady into the cab early this morning. While the lady resisted and attracted passers by attentions. Few approached to extend their help to the lady. The man laid his hands off the lady, pulled out his gun and started to shoot. "Bang! Bang!" A man collapsed and was killed instantly with two shots. The shooting continued and couple fell injured...

The thought of it can happen to anyone of us, freaks me out and gives me this creepy feeling. Somehow, it also reminds me of my conversation with mum days ago. I am still indecisive whether or not to leave Melbourne. She advised me to stay on and was showing her concern about the current situation in JB. It is a Sin City literally these days. Rape, robbery, murder... You name it. Caleb was back in JB few weeks ago and he was shocked by the situation. Jiang was just talking about the car accident scandal days ago. There was this comment, "if you have not been a victim of a crime, then you are not from JB..." How sad to hear that...

Although authorities claims crime rate has reduced, hardly anyone feel the situation is getting in control. The fact that the recent rape case victims being ping pong from one police station to another when attempting to make reports, do give some clues on why crime rates have reduced. I can't stop doubting whether or not the government's plan in developing the southern region will succeed with disturbing frequency of crimes happening these days.

Am I gonna be the next victim with a bang? Fingers crossed, hopefully not...

Eureka shines

Well... it is the one of the most expensive apartment in Melbourne. So it make sense it shines. However, little will I expect that Eureka will shine literally!

P/S: The photos are not results of photoshops!

Deja Vu

I was cleaned and ready to get out for lunch. I was at the door step wondering whether to take the train or tram. 10 seconds later, my watch suggested otherwise. It was 11:30am and lunch with Gerald was on 12:30pm.

What would I do downtown with the extra time I had? Surf net? Chat msn? Do push ups? Continue with my book...? Na, I took a stroll by St Kilda road, from Prahran. Had my scarf all over my neck, ipod tuned on, I got out from the apratment and started my one hour excursion.

As I was walking on the pathway. I had this Deja Vu feeling. It looked so familiar, somehow I felt that I had been here before. Well... It can't be. That was my first walk. The sun was shining brightly up in the sky. I don't think was 撞鬼. Anyway, I will somehow remember. I took my baby out and took a snap.

Now... I remember. It was the usual strasse I took to got to Old Town from my place. Thinking about it, there are many places in Melbourne that is quite similar to Graz. I wonder what are the guys doing now, it is a nice time to swim in the lake...

Long weekend

It had been a long weekend, little that I aware that it is already Tuesday. I thought that I might have some time to slack and ZZzZzzZzzzzzz... The fact ---> no much time to do so.

Sneaky Jess invited some of her friends including myself for a dinner at Seoul Garden and forgot to mention it was her birthday. *I guess she did it intendedly~* Nonetheless, I was prepared and I already got her a nice purple scarf with those kimono print. I hope she likes it~ However, I was forgetful enough to bring it along. *Jess hand you sometime later in the week.* Then the gals hopped in Lounge Bar for couple of drinks *In which they failed due to the usual long queue on Friday night... They went Canary Club instead.* while I went to meet another friend at Westin for a pot of hot Chamomile. *I was full to the top, Chamomile will be just nice to help me to digest...*By the time I cuddled my pillow, it was early 1:00am in the morning.

Less than enough sleep, Eric came kicking my arse... There was my phone interview with Ericsson. Following that day, We had to attend a network 21 presentation. Frankly speaking, I will normally nicely reject the invitation, I simply think it is bullhaaashit. However sometimes one have to give one's friends some face and show some support. There I was, rubbing my puffy eyes, listening to the presentation. After an hour of business presentation, *Ahem!!!* diplomatic I was to turn down the opportunity. Eric and I were giving each other the eye sights, quickly we got packed and showed ourself to the door. Then, we had to buy some stuff and prepare the BBQ for Monday. It was a 3 hours of hard work and damn you lazy Eric, *slap slap slap* couldn't you just for once do something in the damn kitchen? Luckily, CK and Wen Jing was there t o help up. The day ended with my vinegar ginger stew pork~ *Yum yum yum~*

On Sunday, I need to finish off the Hong Kong drama I missed for weeks before anyone murder them. By the time I got some sorted out, it was already late afternoon and I have to get ready to meet the gals. The dinner was with Anne, her farewell dinner before she leave for Sydney... ... ... ... *Hug Anne...*

Monday, Eric came and woke me up... It was only bloody 9:30am!!! Why did I have to wake up so early???! Yeah, BBQ... I took my usual slow+ 1 pace to get ready. My hair was bad and I had to leave... Everyone was just sitting at the living room, indirectly hinting that they were waiting for me. *Sigh...* It was a full on till late night... Fun yet tiring... I am tired... Presentation was cancelled today last minute...

Argghh... So much I hope that my baby digital camera wasn't low bat... I haven't been taking much photos lately and it is time to action.

Sydney visit

What a surprise in the last minute, my interview was rescheduled to Melbourne and it appeared to be too late then for me to cancel my flight. So plan changed, Sydney will be a plan B = vacation.

I had been Sydney couple of times, but little that I like about the place. Dirty? Messy? Ugly? Yes, but not so. I just simply didn't like it. So knowing that I will be there for couple of days, I wasn't really in the mood. Well, thought about it throughly, at least I could caught up with Caleb and that would make most of my days.

I hadn't seen this fellow for over two years now and was really glad when I finally see him. Same old Caleb, the only major difference, he has a girl friend now. Grace = sweet and funny. They make a fantastic couple. *hahahaha~*

Grace and Caleb

The couple days in Sydney had been all about the beach, city and books.

The coastal walk path from Coogee Beach, passed Coverley Beach, Gordon Bay and Tamarama Beach to Bondi Beach was great. The view was picturesque and multi million worth. *I bet the town houses, apartments, cemetery... cost a bomb...* Then wandering around the city... Just like any other city, and this was just another one. Thus most of my time, I dwell within Kunikunya. I so hope that they will have their foot in Melbourne one day. The books were fantastic and in such a short time, I blew my wallet for four. Now, I am so down with $... Few more meals with bread... *cry*

Well, I could say this trip has been great and Sydney isn't as bad after all... *smile*

Coogee Beach

Gordon Bay

Cemetery facing the seaTamarama Beach

Bondi Beach

不安

日子一天天的飞逝，转眼间已经到了秋季中的五月。。。回想着匆匆过去的几个月里，心里充斥着许多的郁闷与困惑，对茫茫的前路，感到不安和迷惘。同时，也窥视到了自己对感情的懦弱。

信心满满的那个我，为何不见踪影？信念坚定不移的那个我，为何动摇了？灿烂笑容常挂脸上的那个我，为何显得苦涩？心口被幸福添满的那个我，为何感到了个缺口？觉的单身也活得很好的那个我，为何会觉得寂寞？事事随缘的那个我，为何如此得执着？ 曾经的那个我，哪儿去了？

如今的我，为了他那几句不经意的话，起了凡心，烦心。自己苦了自己，自己成了自己的磨人精。他知道吗？不，他就象月亮绕着地球转般理所当然的过着他的每一分，每一秒，每一刻。他会明白吗？不，他那被层层缎带包扎的受伤心，早已麻木了他的知觉。他会体谅吗？不，他认为这只是芝麻绿豆般的小事，何必小题大作。他真那么想吗？

心中祈望着颗扎实与稳当的石头到来，牢固的把随风飘摇的风筝绑实。定下吧。。。

P/S: Happy Birthday Dad and Iris. *kisses and love*

Cracking principles

What will you normally relate a rock with? Stable, tough, reliable, dependable, fundamental, conservative, reluctant or merely just another word for stubborn?

Somehow, I always think of stubbornness, like me.

I have certain core fundamental values that which I do not trade off. It is the basic that juggles the many decisions that I make in life. It is a way how I seek a balance point. Like a rock, it doesn't just break or shatter with few desperate attempts. In most instances, it remains still and firm, static against time, a hard foundation to many. Having said so, anything above the bottom line will remain dynamic and flexible. It can be negotiated. In most instances, the open personality of mine is known by many, while the hard-headed personality is only glimpsed by few.

However, not a thing is eternal static. We grow as time flies, after the chilly winter comes the warm spring, sun sets while moon rises...

The same applies to a rock. It breaks to smaller stones. Then, it cracks into smaller pebbles. Later, it becomes finer sand...

Some of the principles I glued along with for years was out of my mind for moments. Moments when I had completely forget till a point. A point when all these values virtually slapped me back. At that instance, I was shocked and felt sudden awaken from nightmare. All these principles hit me hard as it had never before.

I have been thinking of what had happened for the couple of days and I asked myself, "Do I feel remorseful?" and the true answer, "I don't know." I know that I should not have done so. I can find reasons to defend myself, but it will be dishonest. The truth is I was weak...

Gandhi once said, "A principle is the expression of perfection, and as imperfect beings like us cannot perfect perfections, we devise every moment limits of its compromise in practise." and I think I can now say he has a point or an excuse for me.

Nonetheless, I am able to look into myself once again.