Something just happened

I was in shock when mum told me that Esther was in the operation. For a moment, I thought that mum was just kidding over the phone... She wasn't.

Esther was doing high jumping during her PE class. When she fell, she missed the mats and hit the cement floor. It was a bad accident. The impact was hard and parts of her skull was cracked. The operation took more than 3 hours to complete. For God's sake, the impact was not on the brain. It was on the side of her ears and she is recovering quite quick. Nonetheless, everyone is still pretty nervous on the circumstances.

Considering that we just had breakfast on Sunday, never in our mind that this would happen, at least not so soon... Just feel that things do catch you off guard every now and then, can this be prevented? Or everything was preplanned... Hmmm... ... ... feel a sudden fragility...

Happy Chinese New Year...

Chinese New Year, it should be full of joy. Yes, indeed... However... To me, there is sadness to it. I just got rejected. The festive mood is hardly there...

Only when... Only when dad smiled brightly, had his hand on my head, wished me a happy new year... Only when mum laughed loudly on the great things... Only when my little nephews and nieces give me a hi five on hand... Only when my cousin uncle introduce me his wife... Only when knowing my god sister is getting married in a month plus time... Only when I hug my god father... Only when my long lost touched mates came together again... Only when... ... ... I can feel the joy in heart, inflicted by the festive season.

Then, it was moments of emptiness. Something is missing. I feel all my positive energy is sucked out of my body... I feel hollow... down... down...

Rejection is common, who has not gone through it? However, knowing it and able to accepting it, is different. It is a sucky feeling. Not good at all... not good... Especially from those who you care and feel for. If I can cry out loud and release the bitterness, that will be great. I can't... If I can instantly forget and release myself from the misery, that will be great. I can't... If I can choose not to love one who does not love me and release myself from the pain. I can't... If I can... ... ... ... I can't.

Relationship is a two ways thing, regardless of its context. It can't work only on one side, just like clapping with only one hand, it just ain't gonna sound. I know and I am writing it... Am I trying to convince myself? ... However, will anyone just simply move on without trying harder? I don't know the answer for that. For me, I will wait and try harder, even knowing that it does not always work out with hard work. Maybe, maybe not... ... ... too much things flashing through my mind... ... it is getting harder and harder to put down all in words...

Happy Chinese New Year. I wish you all are blessed, surrounded by your love ones and have peace in heart.

36 hours of high school reunion...

Jian Hong: "We just decided to drive down to KL, you wanna join?"
Mel: "Are you gonna pick me up?"
Jian Hong: "Yes, be there in half an hour..."
Mel: "Alright."

It had for sure a long while since the last time we got together. Myself being wandering around somewhere in the world, Zhan Peng spending most of the time on the ship, Fui stuck in Sydney, Boon and Jian Hong working in Singapore...

An hour later, I found myself on the car heading down to KL. All of a sudden, this had became a high school reunion. So unplanned reunion call for unplanned schedule. We took us more than 24 hours to reach KL, where normally 4 hours will be more than enough.

Why took so long... Considering a visit to the palm factory on the road, then having laksa and otak at Muar, followed by handing some hampers to someone and had some coffee with a friend... When we reached the county border, someone suggested to Genting. Thus, Genting would be then. While the guys stuck in the casino, I went straight to bed.

The same day, few hours later, time to check out... we dropped the key and went for some morning coffee. Finally when we reached KL... Great things happened... We were lost... Luckily, with a hand drawn map that hardly help and guessing + wild luck, we got to our destination, Mid Valley. While not so much of shopping, but just visiting some high school mates.

In less than 36 hours time, we were back in JB. So, Valentine was actually a high school reunion.