Suitable choice.

One thing that I always realise in life is that there is no such thing as absolute.

The world is not simply black and white. Thus, neither right nor wrong is the exact answer to the many questions that bothers one. In most occasions, one gain some and lose some either ways the decision go. It is whether or not one gets what one thinks one wants. The answer to that is yet to be answered, as we never really know what the other choices will lead us to... In the end, it kind of come down a chicken or egg dilemma...

To complicate the situation, we have human. Human with distinct background, mindset, culture, ethic, class, colour, perspective, desire and such. To sum it all in one word, different. One's right is other's wrong, one's best is other's worst, so on and so on...

Just recently, I have to wear my Mr Big Bad Wolf mask and be crude to cut someone off. Although I feel bad and words are hurtful, it has to be done. If not, it will drag on and end up even uglier. Probably what I did is wrong or self fish, but it is the best way I can think of to break through such dilemma. I ask myself whether I regret doing so? I don't. Having said so, the feeling sucks big time...

When my age was still on the single digit, my little brain up there was, should I say adventurous or should I say looking for trouble, tried to find a solution to that. However, it ended up no where. Probably it wasn't time then to figure out... While now, I guess I have somehow convinced myself it is merely suitability. Whether it is right or wrong? I don't know.

"Is it that important?" I asked myself...

不期而遇

所有的偶然造就了所谓的必然。

前几天，终于遇到到文良拜托我多多照顾的blur学弟上线了。他刚到这升学，对墨尔本有点陌生，还有很多地方不习惯和要学习适应。无独有偶，他第二天会到市区逛，我时间上不需更改就能配合上。所以，我也很爽快地约了他。这样，我也对文良的托付有了个交待。见面之后，又那么巧的，blur学弟的表姐到这儿公干。我就这样莫名其妙的当起了导游。那blur学弟的表姐又想到联盟广场兜兜。转了一大圈，大家就回到之前街头艺人那儿去看表演。站不了几分钟，在围绕的人群中，竟然看到了熟悉的身影，竟然看到了老同学。我还拿下眼镜擦拭一番，免得老花眼认错人，再来个尴尬加抱歉的窘境。确定了，是他们没错！以雯和Jefferson就坐在我正对面的方向。我二话不说，绕过了人群，到了他们身后。但是，他们却丝毫没有察觉老同学就在身后。吓了他们一跳，紧接着就是这几天的叙旧。。。

最后一次见到以雯是在七年前，万万没想到七年之后会在墨尔本来个不期而遇。有七年了。。。

大姨妈？

当提到大姨妈，你会想起什么呢？

忘了是初中一年级的哪天哪月，从我踏进校门的那刻起，所经之处，都会有人不时回头，暂停脚步窃窃私语一番。其间，也会停到一些窃笑声。但是情况危急，再多几分钟，第一堂课就要开始了。迟了要被记，迟到事大，还是废事少理。所以，也不当一回事儿，直往课室方向冲。

眼看多个一百米，我就要到了。靠！铃响了！ring！ring！ring！ring！ring！！！！一进课室，一身热汗加上不自觉地一身冷汗，班导师已经开始点名了。惨了。。。心里开始碎碎念，“平时不早到，我迟你就早。。。”。就这样被他扣留在原地，非常委屈的被他猛训一顿。我也没迟多久，只是几分钟罢了，竟然会落到身心被句句大道理K的一塌糊涂的窘境。这时，开始听到身后传来的微微笑声。初中一年级还没开课多久。。。天啊！衰到爆！

吞了一身的冤气，回到座位，坐在我旁边的同学还在笑着。心里狂骂，“真衰！衰到爆！我发飚了！迟到又怎样？被骂又怎样？有谁没经历过?要打架还是要耍狠？我奉陪！！！！”那时的我壮得很，放眼望去，当不了打片天下无敌手，也当得了无敌手2。要把弱不惊风的她打到满地找牙，用根指头还嫌多。但回到现实成面，我还是很客气的笑着打哈哈。

此时，同学说了让我愣了一刻的话，“你大姨妈来了！”。

我往门口一看，试图寻找大姨妈的身影。找了个大半天，连个苍蝇也没找着。天真的我还问同学我大姨妈在哪儿？大姨妈非此之大姨妈，乃。。。她直往我白色校裤内侧指。天啊！哪来的一大片深红印迹！

她说，“你月经来了！”

整个人呆了，傻了。。。羞到不行。原来，大家的窃笑是这么一回事儿。我尝试解释那是衣服脱色造成的，但完全无效，让我当了一天的哑巴，口吃黄莲，有苦难述。接下来的一天，就在别人的欢笑声中度过。。。

当时，那种心酸又欲哭无泪的心情，真是一言难尽。现在看来，还蛮有趣的。哈哈哈哈哈哈~

致小情歌

耳边不停地重复听着同一首曲，
嘴上不觉地重复哼着同一个调。
一首歌让我着了魔，
一首簡單的小情歌。
我喜欢它幽柔委婉的曲调，
我喜欢他情感细腻的唱腔。
我喜欢它简朴又深邃的描绘，
我喜欢他相聚又离散的叙述。
我喜欢看它飘浮在空中，音符围绕着我转啊转啊转的一幕。
我喜欢听他的迂回悸动，心迹随着旋律跳啊跳啊跳的一刻。
握紧那个他的手，心情单纯快乐，冰冰的冬天也不那么冷了。
渐失那个他的肩，思绪混乱复杂，热热的夏天怎么那么冷呢？
乐与哀的拥有与失去，不禁让我想起那年的那个他。

小情歌
乐团：苏打绿

這是一首簡單的小情歌
唱著人們心腸的曲折
我想我很快樂　當有你的溫熱
腳邊的空氣轉了

這是一首簡單的小情歌
唱著我們心頭的白鴿
我想我很適合　當一個歌頌者
青春在風中飄著

你知道　就算大雨讓這座城市顛倒
我會給你懷抱
受不了　看見你背影來到
寫下我　度秒如年難挨的離騷

就算整個世界被寂寞綁票
我也不會奔跑
逃不了　最後誰也都蒼老
寫下我　時間和琴聲交錯的城堡

Little Love Song
Artist: Sodagreen
Translator: M. Oyen

This is a simple little love song
Singing the complications of people’s hearts
I think I’m happy, when I had your warmth
The air by my feet turned

This is a simple little love song
Singing of the white doves in our hearts
I think I’m suited to singing odes
Youth flutters in the wind

You know, even if floods overtake this city
I’ll give you my embrace
I can’t stand it, seeing the form of your back
I record the unending misery of leaving

Even if the entire world is held ransom by loneliness
I still can’t run away
I can’t escape, in the end everyone grows old
I record how for me, time and music intersected at the wrong castle

Transformer

It has been a while since I found a movie worth the ticket price. Spiderman III, Piarate and the Carribeans III and Shrek III have same weight as none, aka worthless or crap. I had much expectations, but all flushed down the drain. Thus, I was rather skeptical with Transformer

After the movie, just one word, FANTASTIC!

Optimus PrimeMegatron

See him driving, RUN!!!!!

No one is perfect, that is for sure.

Mozart may be a fantastic musician, but he might not be a good politician. Einstein may be a successful scientist, but he might not be a skillful gardener. My high school teacher Mr I-do-not-remember-his-name may be good in Biology, but he is for sure I guarantee not a fantastic marathon runner...

Sometimes, something just never meant to be and we just have to accept that. In Alan's case, he is for sure not a driver you will want to see on the driver's seat.

It was a chilly cold evening, we were on our way driving home from the local supermarket. Sitting at the back seat, I couldn't sense a moment of comfort. Based of his previous driving experiences, I was sure that my worries weren't unnecessary. I tightened my seat belt and had a silent pray. Nothing much, just a smooth drive back.

Less than a minute, something shocking happened!

Alan was making a turn at the corner. At that very moment, he saw some old friends walking by the car. Without a second thought, he raised both his hands joyfully and started waiving. He was trying to get their attention. Little that he was aware that HE WAS ACTUALLY DRIVING! He was in total excitement. Yap, he forgot. The car was heading towards the protection block. Eric was yelling, "Hit! We are gonna hit! Hit... Stop...". While me, I was out of voice but with mouth widely opened... Luckily, the car stopped immediately and nothing severe happened. The car was less than 10cm away from direct impact. This pretty much explain and I rest my case.

See him driving, RUN!!!!!

Alan, the driver...

睡不着

是6度C的早晨太过冷呢？
还是忐忑不安的心在作祟？
往左盖三次，往右盖三次，试着让脸颊不那么冰，最终放弃，整条被子往头上盖。
往左翻三次，往右翻三次，想些有的没得，如今也想不起来，到底躺时想些什么。
一整晚都睡不着。
听着墙上的挂钟“滴答。。。嘀嗒。。。”的响着，
数着跳越床头“咩咩。。。咩咩。。。”叫的懒羊。
试图合上眼，似睡非睡得度过。。。
“碰！”的一声，鼎华出门了。又“碰！”的一声，Eric出门了。
赖在床上，尝试说服自己再多会儿就能睡着。。。
又“碰！”了一声，那是Alan。
拿起手表，往那一瞄，十一点了。
算了。。。起床吧！

拒绝

冷清的街头显得寂静，我们一言不发得走着。
不想你难受，尝试逗你笑，希望冲淡对你的伤害。
然而预言的失败应验，紧接着持续不断的沉默。
拒绝之时，想起被拒之时。
刺骨的寒风，赤裸裸的刮开见似痊愈的伤疤。
曾经伤过，曾经痛过，能说不疼就不疼吗？
走在你身旁，勉强的微笑，试图掩饰不定的心与微湿的眼。
伤的是你还是我？
不知道，不清楚，不了解。
做的是对还是错？
不知道，不清楚，不了解。
九点了，该走了。
你挥了手，头也不回的离开了。
加了又删的text，该与不该的体贴，只剩下“抱歉。。。伤了你。。。抱歉。。。”的七字message。
讯息发送了，电车错过了。
坐在冰冷的板凳，孤单的等着下一班。
何时会到呢？

His confession.

I was rather sleepy, not because I was bored, it was just the lack of sleep for consecutive days. As he was talking and I was listening, I couldn't stop rubbing my eyes and yawning. I was covering my mouth with my hand, trying not to make it obvious or rather not making myself impolite. I was simply too tired...

Daniel, "I like you. I really do like you and I want to see you more often."
Mel, "... Thank you..."

Was I surprised then? I wasn't. Was I uneasy then? I wasn't. Was I freaked out then? I wasn't.

Somehow, I know it all these while. I was prepared. I was calm and settle when he confessed. Why? I guess I am used to it now. After all, this wasn't the first time. Was I taking it maturer than before? Was I not interested at all? I don't know... What I did know, my heart wasn't beating fast and his was. Does that conclude anything? I can't answer.

Someone said this once, "I don't need one who makes my heart beats at 180 twenty four seven and leave me no space for a sip of fresh air. What I need is someone who sky rocketed my heart occasionally, leave me some space to breath and be me. "

I used to like a person that just thinking of him would make my heart beat so quick and I hardly could think anymore. I used to confess to a person that every words I said accompanied with my fast beating heart and I hardly could remember how to breath. However, both ended no where. Sad... Sad... I was really sad and hurt... Thus, will I want another one? I don't know... However, I do agreed with Mr Someone.

Will my heart ever beat for him? I don't know. Am I shielding myself not to get hurt? I don't know. What will happen then? I don't know.

I am writing about it now, does this say something? Only time will tell...