Feeling autistic
For the past feel days, I had been feeling autistic… Was it because I was tired and brain exhausted, too much wine and beer or probably too many of go-go-party, hadn’t listen to music for sometime, not doing exercise, Germany had lost to Italy… Not too sure why, but just didn’t feel like talking and wanting to be alone. When someone noticed I was quieter than usual, not so into the party, leaving early, I just said, “Tired… had a hard day… work tomorrow… need to sleep…” Was that really the reason, I don’t know. Few days ago, Laura was saying that she hadn’t been sleeping well for the week and she didn’t know why… I think it was kind of similar to my situation. Someday, sometime and someplace, you just felt something isn’t right and you do not know why, even after your soul, your emotion and your body tried hard to tell you, simply just didn’t get it…
Whenever I feel down for no reason, I never leave myself at home. Having said that, it doesn’t make too much difference, I am always out anyway. *Started to laugh* Staying in a room alone when feeling blue, is definitely a no no no! Somehow, I always ended up going merry-go-round the problem, things will start to worsen and suck into the eternal cycle of negative. In the end, problem not solved and I felt shit. Thus, I walked out from my place and went for a walk in the city, trying to feel the rhythm, the pace, the moment of the people passes by… or just sat in the middle of the park, under a shaggy tree, on a rug and listened to the blowing wind passing through the woods, enjoyed a moment of silence and rest... I was searching for the little good things in life, big smile on the face of a kid, a loving kiss of a couple, laughter among people, a nice song, a bowl of laksa… to fill the sudden emptiness of no reason or probably a hidden nostalgic sentiment…
For the past feel days, I had been feeling autistic… Was it because I was tired and brain exhausted, too much wine and beer or probably too many of go-go-party, hadn’t listen to music for sometime, not doing exercise, Germany had lost to Italy… Not too sure why, but just didn’t feel like talking and wanting to be alone. When someone noticed I was quieter than usual, not so into the party, leaving early, I just said, “Tired… had a hard day… work tomorrow… need to sleep…” Was that really the reason, I don’t know. Few days ago, Laura was saying that she hadn’t been sleeping well for the week and she didn’t know why… I think it was kind of similar to my situation. Someday, sometime and someplace, you just felt something isn’t right and you do not know why, even after your soul, your emotion and your body tried hard to tell you, simply just didn’t get it…
Whenever I feel down for no reason, I never leave myself at home. Having said that, it doesn’t make too much difference, I am always out anyway. *Started to laugh* Staying in a room alone when feeling blue, is definitely a no no no! Somehow, I always ended up going merry-go-round the problem, things will start to worsen and suck into the eternal cycle of negative. In the end, problem not solved and I felt shit. Thus, I walked out from my place and went for a walk in the city, trying to feel the rhythm, the pace, the moment of the people passes by… or just sat in the middle of the park, under a shaggy tree, on a rug and listened to the blowing wind passing through the woods, enjoyed a moment of silence and rest... I was searching for the little good things in life, big smile on the face of a kid, a loving kiss of a couple, laughter among people, a nice song, a bowl of laksa… to fill the sudden emptiness of no reason or probably a hidden nostalgic sentiment…
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